Orton's attempts at "spudiculture" - as he called it - had brought no success. The largest potato he'd been able to grow was no bigger than a pea, and he'd been lucky to find that in the soil.
His uncle Denzel couldn't provide any advice. "I'm more a maintenance rabbit than a grower, Orton," he said. "I can keep grass in good condition, get rid of weeds, cut back unruly branches... things like that. Allotment holders would know better. Maybe Perry Babblebrook at number 32, as he loves his garden."
When quizzed, Perry shook his head. "No lad. I don't grow veg. Flowers and shrubs are my thing. Nice foliage, colourful blooms, a bit of hard landscaping."
In the end it was Mookie Dappledawn who provided some useful information. Orton chatted with him on his way to his woodland home.
"Nairum beetles. That's your problem."
"What are they?" said Orton. "Garden pests?"
"The opposite, mainly," said Mookie. "They prey on the pests that attack green veg. That's why Merlin and Eliza grow such good cabbages, lettuces and cauliflowers. Them beetles don't like potatoes though. Oddly, they're fine with most other root crops. They won't eat carrots, swedes and so on but as soon as they find a potato starting to form, it's num, num, num."
"Do I need a different soil? Would that help?"
"It might, for a while, but there will be established nests of them beetles deep in the ground. They won't go too far from their nests but I reckon this whole garden is their territory. New soil won't stop 'em once they detect a potato plant."
"But they are really good for other plants?"
"You've tasted Eliza's lettuce soup? Great with cheese."
"I've seen other people grow potatoes - not too far away from here. Don't other gardens have nairum beetles?"
"Good question," said Mookie. "The thing is, nairum colonies aren't that numerous and they don't travel far. They find a good place and stick to it. They seem to like this garden. I think potatoes aren't the best thing to grow here at Butterglove House. Although you could try a big pot, well away from the earth."
"Hmm," said Orton. "Maybe. I think a trip to the library is in order."
Mookie laughed. "Book learnin', eh? Aye, you might find something out that old Mookie doesn't know."
o 0 O 0 o
Orton's upbringing with two master zoologists gave him a thirst for knowledge on all animals, even tiny voracious beetles. He read all he could find on the comparatively rare nairum variety.
Emerging from the library he realised he was almost late for tea, but it didn't matter too much. He had a plan.
Over the next few weeks he worked his tiny garden plot whenever he could. Brendan and Beverley would watch him as he tended his land.
"Potatoes?" said Brendan, "What's up with him?"
"He says he's battling beetles," said Beverley.
"Hardly Flash Gopher material. Still, do you think he wants some help?"
"I offered," Beverley said, "but he said no. Mind you, Russell wasn't helping, digging in the soil at the time."
"Let's leave him to it. I'm expecting Nolly and Hughie soon, anyway."
o 0 O 0 o
Orton's efforts were rewarded with a single green stem. Only one, but that was better than all his previous attempts.
When it came to the day of the uprooting, all of Butterglove House attended.
"I think you might be lucky," said Eliza, although we all knew that any success wasn't down to luck. Orton has been diligent, and he had informed us that his latest fertilizer mix was scientifically designed.
"There's something there," he said as he delved into the soil. "There's one... no, two... and that's it."
Two potatoes. But what potatoes! They were enormous.
"Congratulations, my boy," said Merlin rubbing the top of Orton's head. "I never expected to see a potato growing here."
Orton beamed. "It was all down to the fertilizer. It not only helps growth, it wards off nairum beetles."
"And what fertilizer did you use in the end? Not the concentrate from rotted comfrey?"
"No pappa. Diluted manure from Kimball's pet schismasaur."
Brendan scrunched up his face. "Lizard poop?"
Cecile laughed. "I think the potatoes will be washed, Brendan. No one is suggesting they be eaten fresh from the garden."
As the family dispersed, Beverley approached Orton.
"So, can we expect regular potato crops from you now?"
Orton considered his response. "No. I might grow something else. The main thing is that I've solved the potato mystery. I'll document my technique and submit it to the Allotment Society."
"Ooh, posh. You realise you've gone beyond zoology now? Botany, isn't it?"
"Maybe." He grinned as he went to fetch a container for his crop. "Do you think mummle or pappa will make us some chips?"
"Chips fresh from the garden? I think even Brendan would like that."
"Even those grown in lizard poop?"
Beverley laughed. "Even then."
o 0 O 0 o
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