Bear Banger and the Bunny Boys

A couple of hours after the mystery of the "secret admirer" had been solved, Merlin and Eliza returned with our little Russell. He was a little tired from his play date with Jamie and Hannah Periwinkle and pleased to see his mum.

"Hey Jack," said Merlin soon after they arrived, "You'd never guess. Alex Periwinkle told me something unusual about his dad."

I asked him to explain and he replied, "It turns out that, before he was married, Mack used to be in a music group. Alex had no idea."

"Ha. That is news," I said. "How did Alex find out?"

"His parents wanted to borrow their big room for a slide show, inviting a few of their pals, and Alex caught sight of a couple of the slides."

"I knew he'd played the harmonium for Kelvin Waters at a couple of weddings but a band? Well, he kept that quiet."

"That's not all," laughed Merlin, "as it turns out the other members of the band were Smokey Wildwood, Winston Cottontail, Gus Timbertop and Bernard Snow-Warren!"

"What?" I was astounded. "Chris has never mentioned this."

"I sort of get the impression that no-one knew."

Once my brother and his wife had left, Cecile looked up from playing with Russell. She had a knowing look in her eye.

"Go on. I know you want to go and find out more. I'm sure Christian Snow-Warren will want to quiz his father, too."

I smiled. She knew me so well. I gave her a kiss and then went to phone Chris.

It was true. Chris had no idea about his dad's musical past. As we walked to Bernard's cottage at the end of his garden, he mused about his childhood.

"I've not heard my dad sing recently, but he did have a reasonable voice. But you don't think about that sort of thing when you're little. I can't understand why he's never mentioned being in a band. 

Upon arriving, Chris confronted his dad.

Bernard smiled. "Well, I suppose the cat's out of the bag now. It was a long time ago, before any of us had met our brides to be. Except Gus Timbertop, that is. He was going out with Fern, and she tagged along to most of our shindigs. She took some photographs back then, and had them made into slides."

"And were these the ones you were showing at the Periwinkle's house?" I asked.

"Last night. Yes," said Bernard. "Fern had found the slides but had no way of showing them. Smokey Wildwood said he had a projector in his attic, so we arranged to have a viewing, bringing the band back together. It was a good night. Mack had Alex bring in an extra sofa so we could all sit comfortably."

Relaxing, he recalled the evening and led us through the events...

- o 0 O 0 o -

After we'd settled down, Smokey put Fern's slides into the cartridge, checking that they were the right way up before they were fed into the projector.

I was there with Fern and Gus to my right, then Smokey checked that the projector was properly facing the screen.

To his right, Mabel and Mack were snuggled on the smaller settee, and Winston Cottontail was at the far end.

"Right," said Smokey, "Can you turn out the lights, Winston?

So he got up - not quite as nimble as he was duck-walking across the stage with his guitar, mind you - and did the honours.

Job done, he went back to his seat and the show began.

The first slide showed Winston on his guitar.

The next slide showed Smokey on bass. Literally.

The next slide showed Mack Periwinkle on keyboards.He got up when his slide was being shown to remark about some defect there had been in the instrument, We told him to sit down.

The next slide showed me singing my heart out. Fern asked me if I could remember what I was singing. I couldn't but pretended I could. I actually sang a few bars there and then. And yes, they told me to sit down too.

The slide of Gus showed him throwing his drumstick in the air during a performance. We had to stop him doing that as he kept losing the stick and it was embarrassing asking the audience to give it back.

There were some other slides, but the one of the entire band was nice to see.

- o 0 O 0 o -

At that point Bernard went silent, back with his memories.

Chris brought him out of his reverie. "What was the band called, dad?"

"Oh?" said Bernard, "We called ourselves Bear Banger and the Bunny Boys."

"Bear Banger and the Bunny Boys?" said Chris and I in one voice.

"Well, it was Gus's band..."

"Okay," said Chris, shaking his head.

"...and it could have been worse. Fern wanted to call us the Bear Buns."

Chris and I spluttered with laughter. When we could keep a straight face, I asked the question that had been growing in my mind. "And why did you stop playing, Mr Snow-Warren?"

"Priorities, really. We got married, and decided to move to Mellowdene. Money was short. The kiddies came along. Life just sort of moved on."

"What about your instruments? Did you have to sell them?"

"They weren't ours. We rented them from the shop where Winston worked. It was a music shop and whilst he had a discount, we could just about afford them."

"And you've never been tempted to start playing again?

"After all these years we're really out of practice. Except maybe Mack. I guess most of the guys would be embarrassed to be heard."

"That's a shame."

Chris lightly punched his dad on the arm. "You could sing for us, though."

Bernard chuckled. "Maybe sometime. No - don't frown, Christian. I'm not fobbing you off. It's just that my voice isn't what it was. Perhaps if we found the right song."

"And the others?"

"Er, probably not. During the slide show we all realised something now that we have the benefit of maturity."

"What's that, dad?"

"About Bear Banger and the Bunny Boys - we weren't very good!"