From the pages of the Mellowdene Examiner (1/5)

The celebrated Sylvanian wit Oscar Wildebeest once said "There's only one thing worse than being talked about; it's being sung at by a tone deaf donkey in a locked bathroom."

Hi. As you've probably guessed, it's Darcy Fielding here. You may be wondering why I opened with that quotation. It's something I tell myself when I want cheering up - a sort of "well - things could be worse."

And now you're probably wondering why I'd want to do that. Well - sadly - Jackson has let me down.

That was my first thought today, but I now realise I was being unfair. Jackson is under no obligation to write these pieces for Life in Mellowdene. It's just that he usually gives me plenty of notice if he can't manage to complete something. This time, I heard nothing.

When time was approaching my usual publication date, I phoned Butterglove House to find out if I'd missed some prior communication. Cecile answered.

"Oh hi, Cecile," I said, "It's Darcy. Is Jackson in?"

She didn't answer immediately. In retrospect, she seemed a little unsure of herself. And then she said, "Hello, Darcy. No. I'm afraid he's away."

"Oh. Songwriting business I expect. No matter. It's just that.... did he leave me any papers, articles, anything for me like that?"

"Erm, No, Sorry Darcy. He went rather suddenly."

"Ah. Okay. Well, thanks Cecile. Maybe I can have a word with him when he gets back."

"Okay. 'Bye."

Then she put down the phone. I thought it was a little out of character, but I had other things on my mind. I had an article to write. Or did I? I had all my newspaper archives. Harry Hawthorne (my lead reporter, you may recall) had recently done one of his food reports. I could use that.

And so I have. Here it is.

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Hawthorne's Hunger - The Doughty Hamburger Wagon

(from the Mellowdene Examiner archives)
(Reporter: Harry Hawthorne)

After last month's article on the Summer menu from the Mousehole / Seaside Restaurant, I felt I should avoid another five course meal and check out one of the smaller culinary outlets in Mellowdene. The question was, where was this place? It tends to move about. I am, of course, talking about the new mobile catering establishment that is The Hamburger Wagon.

I met up with Gordon Doughty at the edge of the village green where he had earlier been providing nourishing snacks for a family sports day event.


I asked him what had given him the idea to create a mobile kitchen. Did he think there'd been a need?

"Not a need as such," he replied. "but I believed that people would warm to the idea. It occurred to me that there must be places other than restaurants and cafés where hot food would be welcomed."

There had been queues when I first arrived so Gordon appeared to have made a correct assessment. And Sylvanians do like good food. I mentioned this.

"That's true. There are many good amateur cooks throughout the country, and Mellowdene has its fair share. I was talking to Burrell Hazelwood (of Mice & Clean) a while back and according to him even the librarian is quite talented in the culinary arts. All of which reminds us that we need to ensure we have a high quality product."

He went on.

"With events like the one here, ordinarily villagers would bring picnic food. Some might bring flasks of tea or coffee. Rarely you might find flasks of soup. So the opening for decent hot food was always there."

I asked if there had been any feedback from other catering outlets.

"Quite positive actually. We cater for different markets. The Mousehole does the high end evening meals. Marion Brighteyes at the Blackcurrant Café provides some of our pastries which boosts her business and the Watermill Bakery. And when Pickleweed's Pizza Emporium opens they will concentrate on home deliveries."

I knew that his entire family were keen chefs. I asked who was best.

"Why me, of course," he laughed. "But seriously, it's healthy competition and we learn from each other. It's not just me and my wife Delia. My brother Heston is showing an increased interest - he's cooking today, by the way - and my children are keen tasters. If something doesn't meet their approval we look seriously at the menu."

I had heard a rumour that they had some notable help from outside the family. I asked if he could confirm this.

"Ah yes, it's true. We have Sawyer Honeydew inventing some incredible finger food for us. Again, with the amount of excellent home cooks, it's good to be able to offer something different and exciting."

You may recall that I mentioned freelance master chef Sawyer Honeydew in an early Hungry Hawthorne report - he periodically meets with Basil and Betty Hazelwood at the Mousehole to design new dishes for their menus.

"There's no crossover there," Gordon assured me. "I think Sawyer enjoys the difference in the sorts of food he designs for us as compared with the food for Basil. Here, let me show you."

That was my opportunity to sample some of Gordon's menu and Heston's cooking.

As usual, I was in danger of over-indulging. Regarding the food I have one comment: 

You must try it.

As I waved goodbye to Gordon and Heston, Delia turned up in their rented car ready to move the wagon. Bartering with the car company - quality food for the sporadic loan of a car - works well for both of them. Community catering at work.

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I've just noticed something linking Harry's piece with Jackson's last article about Horatio Seadog's birthday. This also mentioned the Hamburger Wagon. I love these weird coincidences.

So that's it for this week. Short and sweet. I am a little concerned about Cecile, though. Did I imagine it or was she unsettled? I may be an editor and publisher, but I still have my reporter's nose for a story. If I haven't heard from Jackson by tomorrow, I think I'll go and see if Cecile's okay.

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